Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Everyman Critics Forum

Please read and agree to the following rules before entering the forum.

"Why Do You Have This Many Fucking Rules?"

In order to keep this board from becoming a complete cesspool we've compiled this set of rules. If you want the short version of the rules, here it is: be excellent to each other other or DON'T BE A DUMBFUCK.

I. The Stuff That Should Be Obvious

A. By signing up for this board, you are stating that you are mature enough to handle what might show up on this board. This board is aimed primarily at older teenagers and adults, so you’re likely to see any amount of weird shit on this board. This board is not intended for anyone under the age of 16 or anyone that is easily offended.

B. The decisions of message board moderators are final and not up for debate. A moderator’s decision can only be overturned by the moderator that made it, an admin, or in a pinch, a consensus of mods. If you feel that a moderator has REALLY stepped out of line, feel free to talk to the moderator or an admin.

C. The moderators are generally all fun-loving people who do not take their power too seriously, and so they may overlook an offense or two (especially if you’re a valuable contributor to discussion). But don’t press your luck. Hassling a moderator is a good way to get yourself banned.

D. If a user gets out of hand in any way, for any reason, the admins reserve the right to revoke their posting privileges or impose some other punishment.

E. You do not always get warned before action is taken. These rules are now in writing, and you are expected to know what they are and follow them. Most of the rules are just common sense anyway, so why not save us all a headache and take a minute to learn them?

II. Language/Flames

A. Profanity is allowed. Keep in mind, though, that using far more profanity than is needed is likely to get you mocked mercilessly.

B. On a related note, flame wars are also permitted if they are interesting or entertaining. Keep in mind, though, that a moderator can shut down any and all flame wars at his or her own discretion, especially if it’s degraded to no more than stupid name-calling.

C. We welcome the free exchange of speech and opinions, and encourage discussions and debate. However, outright political propaganda will NOT be tolerated. (Also, see the rule above.)

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III. Images

A. There are image and smilie restraints on this board to prevent image flooding. Even so, please do not use buttloads of images. You’ll only piss off the powers that be.

B. Posting images of porn/gross shit for no good reason will a) piss off the moderators, b) get your post deleted, c) get you banned if you keep it up. This board is meant for older users, but it’s not a fucking porn zone.

C. Do not use images in your signature at all. Large, obtrusive ones are extremely annoying for the other posters, and clutter the pages. Very small icons or banners used to be acceptable, but even too many of those get annoying, and to avoid bitching at where to draw the line it's just simpler to forbid them altogether.

D. Signatures should not be longer than 4-5 lines of text.

IV. ZERO TOLERANCE Policies (aka "Harassment and Really Stupid Shit")

A. Harassment of other users or moderators is not allowed. “Harassment” is NOT simply flaming or taking another user to task; it is following another user around with the sole purpose of causing more abuse (or anything else of that nature). Harassing other users can (and usually will) ultimately result in a ban from the board. Feel free to report instances of harassment, but if the mods find out you're crying wolf, YOU may be the one that gets banned!

B. “Really Stupid Shit” constitutes stuff that you can get in trouble with the law for; i.e. posting illegal material (NO WAREZ, et al), hacking, slander, death threats, and other such things. This will result in an AUTOMATIC BAN from the board, and the proper authorities will be notified if necessary. So just don’t do it.

C. Anyone caught instigating or participating in ANY activity that endangers the board, its moderators, or its users will be banned, and further action may be taken depending on circumstances. This covers activities such as attacking another board and claiming to be from here, inviting users from another board to attack or otherwise pollute this board, impersonating another board member on a different site, and other such things.

V. Posting Etiquette

A. Do not flood the board. If you flood the board, you will be banned on sight.

B. Please don’t post more than one topic about the exact same thing (though exceptions can be made if the original thread is so long and stupid that a good reply would be lost). It will get deleted. Your response to an issue is seldom so clever that it warrants its own topic.

C. Since we really don't have time to deal with complaints from others about controversial signatures, homepage links, or other profile sections, and then having to decide where the line is and what crosses it, etc., we've decided to just make our policy on them: No political, racial, sexist, homophobic, religious, etc., agendas.

D. Do not use excessive caps and/or large fonts.

VI. Stuff That Doesn’t Really Fit Anywhere Else

A. If your posts are almost uniformly unproductive/vulgar/useless, then we may take it upon ourselves to humiliate you, or trim the fat (i.e. you) from the board. And as a related tangent, gimmick accounts, no matter how amusing, are not a substitute for productive discussion and will be struck down unless they are either productive or damned hilarious.

B. Nobody likes a whiner or a drama queen (who love to pop up in the Reviews and Suggestions/Complaints boards). Especially not the moderators, who have to put up with all the whining on this board and then some. We tolerate dissension on this board as much as is reasonable, but keep in mind that everybody has a breaking point!

C. It takes less than five seconds to review what boards there are and what they are used for. It takes less than one second to double check what board you are on. So do it! Make a habit of posting on the wrong forum and risk the wrath of the mods.

D. You're not a moderator so don't correct posters like one. If you have a problem with a post, use the "Report This Post" button, rather than playing the parent. More often than not, that causes more problems than it fixes. Let us handle what is ours to handle.

E. Discussion of illegal drugs should be kept within academic or newsworthy limits only. "How to" discussions and "I'm so stoned" posts may result in repercussions ranging from a warning to immediate and permanent banning, depending on previous history, context of post and nature/content of post.


If you agree CLICK HERE to enter the forums!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

They Call Him Dr. Love

Welcome back everyone. This week we present to you probably the most efficient episode ever!!

Download the Episode Here!

Introduction 0:00 - 17:33
A very lean but action packed intro. Quite a bit of movies are talked about with wildly varying effects. Some aren't dark enough for Dan, some had good food for Garrett, and some had super fake CG that killed me!

Dr. Strangelove 17:33 - 36:29
Probably the oldest film we have reviewed so far that was the winner of a listener poll. You asked for it and you got it!! Word of advice: remember it is all about precious bodily fluids!! Life is better now, thank you Stanley Kubrick!!

Buy Dr. Strangelove today!

Closing 26:29 - 38:11
Wrapping up and Dan is ready to throw a curve ball! One of his favorite movies is coming up next time. A film widely regarded as a masterpiece...Winter Light! We'll see how this goes...


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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Vengeance Trilogy

Vengeance Trilogy


By Park Chan-Wook

The Vengeance Trilogy is not a set of sequels. It is a triptych of films with a similar theme…revenge. We all know as human beings that revenge is a natural thought, human nature if you will. We also know the consequences and eventual fallout if we were to act upon these urges.

These films deal with different types of revenge and motives, but the story is all the same. Who were we before? Who are we now? What will we become?

Never have I seen a film, or in this case films, that was able to open my mind and soul to the reality of these questions. We all think that nothing will change, that vindication is absolute, and that the consequences are worth it all. With three different approaches we are shown the folly of our ways, we are given an intimate glimpse into a possible reality that could happen to any one of us. After watching these films we no longer know what we knew, we UNDERSTAND.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

Synopsis:
Unable to afford proper care for his sister dying from kidney failure, Ryu turns to the black market to sell his own organs only to end up cheated of his life savings. His girlfriend urges Ryu to kidnap the daughter of wealthy industrialist Dong-jin, who recently laid him off. Ryu agrees, but unforeseen tragedies turn an innocent con into a merciless quest for revenge. Bound by their personal losses and deep-seated anger, the two men are thrust into a spiral of destruction.

Review:
One thing the synopsis fails to mention is that Ryu is a deaf-mute. Due to this fact the film is extremely subdued. A tribute to the acting skills involved! Because of his affliction everyone else in the movie speaks only when necessary, everything else is shown through facial expressions and pure, raw emotion that transcends any language barrier. The title Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is truer than any title I can think of. The story, acting, script, everything about this movie succeeds in gaining the viewers attention, gaining their sympathy. You may hear that this film, as with the other films in the Vengeance Trilogy, is excessively and graphically violent. Maybe I am just desensitized to violence from decades of horror films, but the violence was not excessive but necessary in conveying the emotion and feeling the film needed to give. I have felt bad or sorry for characters in other movies due to a situation they are placed in; but never have I felt such sympathy that I understood the gravity of the film’s situation. A slow burn for the start, this film is never boring but rather increasingly interesting. Knowing this could never end well, I still found myself hoping for the best, wishing well upon the actors in this tragedy play. This film may be a hard watch for some but that is only because it digs into the viewers’ soul and gives them truth. The ugly truths we hope to forget but must understand in order prevent such mistakes in our own lives.
9/10

Oldboy
Oldboy

Synopsis:
Oh Dae-su is an ordinary Seoul businessman with a wife and little daughter. After a drunken night on the town, he is abducted and locked up in a strange, private “prison.” No one will tell him why he’s there and who his jailer is and his fury builds to a single-minded focus of revenge. 15 years later, he is unexpectedly freed, given a new suit, a cell phone and 5 days to unravel the mystery and discover the identity of the enemy who had him imprisoned. Seeking vengeance on all those involved, he soon finds that his enemy’s tortures are just beginning.

Review:
This was the only film in the Vengeance Trilogy I had had previous knowledge of. A film I heard was good and always wanted to see. I was not prepared for what came afterwards. Where Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance took my heart and thrust me into a world that I wished could be fixed; Oldboy kept me outside the world. A Tom peeping in to see what mustn’t be seen. The performances in this film are so grand and deep, the situation so unbelievable that the viewer can only watch in horror as they have no control over the events unraveling. All you can do is watch. You may read about a twist ending, this is no M. Night Shyamalan twist. You are not going to go “Wow! I didn’t see that coming.” You will simply stare in horror as everything that has been built comes crashing down in a swirl of emotion and violence. The main cast is so powerful that they themselves torment you, asking you to help them solve the mystery and free them from their chains; but we cannot. At the end of the film, I was not touched emotionally at all as I was with Mr. Vengeance. My mind and soul were thoroughly broken however as I lay in shambles, a shell of the person I once was. As I watched and could do nothing, as I realized the evil in men’s hearts, the lengths of which men will go to fulfill their vengeance, the depths of the human soul; I saw the world around me, my own heart, and my own thoughts. Our world is dark, our world is hate; we have the power to change this, we can prevent events such as the ones depicted in Oldboy from happening, we can save ourselves.
Not for everyone I must warn, but worth the viewing nonetheless.
11/10

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Synopsis:
After being blackmailed and wrongly imprisoned for 13 years, a beautiful woman is finally set free. Now her brutally elaborate plan for vengeance against the true criminal can begin to unfold.

Review:
After watching the previous films in the Vengeance Trilogy, I was prepared for another great film but unaware of what this one would do to me, could do to me. As the film begins, I am sad to say, I was let down. The main actress presents a very cold spiteful woman, and presents this well. However, the structuring of the first 30 – 40 minutes leaves much to be desired. It was too broken, Oldboy was broken but coherent, but this was broken and had TOO MUCH narrative. I could not get involved with the character, her plight, and her feelings. I understood her stance but was not sucked in as I previously had been. Then all of a sudden it grabbed me. After she goes looking for her daughter I began to see her conflict. I was shown and began to understand her anger and her pain. Events quickly build and even quicker die out with no pay off. A cop-out you say? Hell no! The conclusion to this movie will draw upon many morality issues, but I for one will say that I am for what this movie represents and ultimately gives us. Those who will have issues are too ignorant in human emotion and could never understand until they are in a position similar to those in this movie. This is revenge fantasy at its most striking. Yet, director Chan-Wook never allows us to revel in it, he shows us the reality. The reality may not be as harsh as the previous films but it is there and it is true. While not perfect overall due to the lackluster beginning, Chan-Wook shows his ability to create great, powerful scenes that will stay with the viewer long after the credits roll.
8/10

Conclusion:
While each film is a powerful, engaging watch, only after viewing the trilogy as a whole does it really begin to affect the viewer. Three stories; three morality plays with revenge as both the pivot and the crux; three different manners in which we are affected in both real life and in the experience of watching these films. The box set is worth the price of admission, watch in the order as described here because only then will you not be totally jarred; only then will you have hope and redemption similar to the lead in Lady Vengeance; only then does everything become clear and your life can start anew.
9.5/10

Buy The Vengeance Trilogy Today!


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Sunday, April 18, 2010

My (failed) Attempt at a Jeff Bridges Tribute

Relatively on time, we have a new episode ready to gobbled up and criticized. Show us your worst!

Download the Episode Here!!

Introduction 0:00 - 40:03
Lots of movies were watched by Nolan and Dan between the last episode and this. Confusion is displaced and anger makes an attempt. Oh, the anger thing? Nolan talk about Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, a movie that I loved! How does it turns out? I don't know.

Starman 40:03 - 1:03:02
What more can you say about a great 80s movie directed by John Carpenter and starring Jeff Bridges? Apparently nothing. Dan can't even talk about it! He just goes on and on about things other than the topic. This movie is great and negative rebuttals have no place in the face of John Carpenter's greatness!
Buy Starman Here!

Closing 1:03:02 - 1:10:51
Next time the results of our poll (which has been closed for more than a month now!) will decide our fate. How does it turn out? Will we be happy, displeased, or infuriated? Tune in next time to find out!!

P.S. Stay through to the end of this episode and tell me what you think about the song. I love it and am very curious as to others reaction!

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The more things change...

We're Back Everybody!!! You guys can deal with a little hiatus right? Good, glad to hear it as we bring you the latest (cause it's not exactly new) podcast episode of The Everyman Critics!

Download the Episode Here!!

Introduction 0:00 - 31:01
Even though this was recorded about a week after our last episode (a month ago) we sure did watch a lot of movies in our spare time!

Oscar 31:01 - 1:17:43
We get really in depth on the psychology of Sylvester Stallone's character and what the meaning of this film in our modern society really means. Even Nolan got into the discussion. No joke!
Buy Oscar here

Closing 1:17:43 - 1:20:24
Wrapping this bad boy up with the shortest ending ever, what will we do next time? Who knows? Nolan refused to decide! Good times are ahead, stay tuned.

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Third Man

While part of the Everyman Critics is broadening each others movie viewing there are some movies that i watch that may not be suitable for everyone's viewing. Rather than subject everyone to some of my more provocative movie viewing habits i will post reviews in the blog of some movies that won't be discussed with everyone else. This does not mean though that i won't push the boundaries every so often and make my fellow Everyman Critics watch movies they really don't want to watch. :)

-dan


THE THIRD MAN (1949)
TIME: 104 minutes
GENRE: Suspense
MPAA RATING: NR
LANGUAGE: English
DIRECTOR: Carol Reed
STARRING:
Joseph Cotton, Alida Valli, Orson Welles

RATING: 9/10

OVERVIEW:
Holly Martins arrives in Vienna at the request of a lifelong friend, Harry Lime, only to find that Lime had been killed in a car accident. Everyone Holly comes in contact with tries to get him to leave Vienna and return home. Once Holly discovers that there may have been a third man involved in tending to Harry after he was hit by the car he decides to stick around and discover what really happened.

REVIEW:
Roger Ebert once said that The Third Man is one of the 10 greatest films of all time. I would concur with this statement if it weren’t for the musical score featured so prominently throughout the film. Joseph Cotton gives a tour de force performance as Martins. It is amazing the depth of character he provides in what could have easily been flat if put in someone’s hands. Orson Welles also is great in the little bit of the film that he is featured in as well. After seeing Citizen Kane, I wasn’t too sure I wanted to see this film, but after watching it I’m glad that I have seen it. Perhaps it is because Carol Reed’s direction is so great and merely features Welles, whereas Citizen Kane was directed and starred Welles. I will have to check out Touch of Evil to see if I can really enjoy an Orson Welles directed film. The Third Man is definitely a must see for fans of film noir.

p.s. On a side note after watching The Third Man i re-watched a Pinky and the Brain episode titled The Third Mouse. While i found it amusing the first time around, after watching The Third Man the episode opened up much more to me.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom

While part of the Everyman Critics is broadening each others movie viewing there are some movies that i watch that may not be suitable for everyone's viewing. Rather than subject everyone to some of my more provocative movie viewing habits i will post reviews in the blog of some movies that won't be discussed with everyone else. This does not mean though that i won't push the boundaries every so often and make my fellow Everyman Critics watch movies they really don't want to watch. :)

-dan


This time it's another film that was mentioned in the Hurt Locker episode of Everyman Critics. I bring you:

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
116 min, Avant-garde, NR
Directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini
Starring:
Paolo Bonacelli, Giorgio Cataldi, Umberto Paolo Quintavalle

Rating – 7/10

Overview –
Rather than type up an overview for this film, i will just direct you to Wikipedia.

Review –
Salò is a movie that almost defies criticism. Some people will watch it to try to be shocked, some because of the artistic value and others because it was mistakenly put into their Netflix queue. i fall into the second group of people, but at first viewing i could find little to nothing of value in this film. There is not much left to the imagination in Salò and it cuts straight to the marrow. However, after processing the film i was able to see that there is more here than one would think reading the plot. It is a harrowing and highly nihilistic picture that is presented. One that shows monstrosities that happen behind closed doors in wartime and those of some of the most depraved humans. Salò is broken down into four segments: the Anteinferno, the Circle of Manias, the Circle of Shit and the Circle of Blood. Even without the title cards for each chapter it is not difficult to know which one of these circles the viewer is witnessing. This is not a film for the weak stomached or sensitive individuals. Even while writing this review images from the film flood my memory. i find it difficult to articulate exactly why this film is important in regard to film history, though i know i'm supposed to be able to. While this is tame compared to say Faces of Death, it isn't a film that i can suggest to anyone as a must watch film. Am i a better person for watching this? No, i can't say that i am.